004. I am sick. (???)

Something is wrong with me, health-wise. I need to go to a doctor.

I am on my own for the first time in my life and of course, that's when the health problems arise. Also when I do not have a full-time job. This would be so much easier if I were at home... it would be easy to go to the doctor and I would have my mom and it would just be better.

But... if I am going to be real with this journal and real about my lifestyle changes, then I need to get real with myself. There is something WRONG and I need to stop avoiding it. Part of this journey is about accountability, it's about responsibility, and it's about facing my problems instead of trying to sweep them under the rug and act like everything is all right.

I don't feel right. I don't know exactly what it was... I ate a Pot Stickers Lean Cuisine... a little later, I had a Women's Daily Multivitamin. I was reading online journals and I fell asleep. My friend called me, I tried to go back to sleep, but I felt weird. My stomach felt upset. I began to bloat... I still feel weird.

All of these health problems, they started a few months ago. All of a sudden, I was just sore. Sore, sore, sore. Everything in my body ached. It hurt to even sit down. It hurt to drive--just to use the steering wheel. I attributed it to my bad eating habits, to the lack of vegetables and fruits in my diet. I went to a Walk-In Clinic after about a month of this--a month of feeling like utter crap and being exhausted. I took some steroids and my joint pain went away. But after the week long trial of steroids, different problems arose. I was itchy, I was bloaty. I had a weird scar on my face. I went back to the doctor and took a urine and blood test. They both showed abnormalities. The doctor said I should go to a blood specialist. I called and they said they wouldn't see me without me having another blood test. They said to wait 2-3 weeks before I took one.

So I waited. And then I got busy and kind of put it off. Finally, a month later, I did the blood test. I got the results back a couple of weeks ago... and there were more abnormalities. They recommended that I get a Primary Care physician. So, I told myself I would make an appointment... but I have yet to do so...

But with the way I am feeling tonight, I realize: this is not a joke. This is my health. Something is seriously wrong with me... and it's not just the symptoms I described here. This could be TMI, but I have weird consistency of my bowel movements, I have lumps on my head and little lumps on my throat... I am being kind of dumb. I need to get it checked out.

I could be jumping the gun, but I think it's either severe allergies or... lupus. I don't know why, but it just seems like something it really could be. I am going to call the doctor tomorrow.

from my original blog at 3FC.